Lifestyle, Personal

Wherever you look for tips regarding confidence, the same piece of advice seems to follow – Cut off all toxic relationships. I believe this to be true, if the people you are surrounded by do not support you or encourage you at the least, then you should definitely leave them be for your own wellbeing. However, cutting off toxic relationships is easier said than done.

Snappy quotes and instructions of how to identify and discard toxic relationships seem to surface my newsfeed whenever I am scrolling through.

I strongly believe that toxic relationships have an overwhelming influence on an individual’s self esteem and perspective, and have experienced this myself. Toxic relationships are exhausting and patronising and demeaning. But it’s cutting off these relationships where I find trouble, and is abandoning these relationships the only way forth? I don’t think that it is.

Traits of toxic relationships are ongoing, but for me, it’s been the tiniest traits which have had the largest impact and I write this post hours after having a mini revelation towards the topic. Snappy negative comments made towards me are the ones that stick with me, comments that are easily passed or shrugged off, but with repetition overtime have nagged their way into my thought process and self-esteem.

Sometimes, I will stop myself from being proud of my work or promoting my work because I don’t want to appear arrogant or self-centred. In fact, when a friend complimented my work at a poetry night, I was convinced that I was arrogant to the extent of only deeming my work as ‘alright‘.

When I was a tad younger, as most young people do, I struggled massively with my confidence. I really hated myself. It started when I began High School, and when I was fourteen I began to see a counsellor. According to the 2017 Dove Global Girls Beauty and confidence report, 61% of 10-17 year old girls in the UK have low self esteem, confidence is a huge issue among young people.

Personally, I don’t remember social media being as prominent and influential in my own build of finding confidence. But when I look at social media now, it’s power and influence, it’s hard to ignore the strength declarative posts such as “if you want confidence cut off all toxic people in your life” may have on young girls or boys who are now in the position I was once in. The same memo is everywhere, it doesn’t matter what social media site you are browsing.

It is easier said than done to cut off all toxic relationships, especially for young people. Sometimes, it may be a family member performing toxic traits. Sometimes cutting off toxic relationships might not be convenient. My mini-revelation came from this thought. It’s not that easy.

This evening, I was going to upload a promo of ‘GRACE’ to my Instagram. I stopped myself for two reasons, one of them being that nagging voice in my head saying “you will come across as arrogant, people will think you are self obsessed“. I genuinely stopped and cancelled all of my promo plans for that one post. But I asked myself, why do you think you are arrogant? And imagined my more optimistic self looking at me like, seriously?

Cutting off toxic relationships is hard. Sometimes you will find those relationships will eventually drift apart anyway, but when it comes to toxic relationships in your immediate circle of family or perhaps friends, discarding them encounters a great extent of difficulty.

Confidence can be achieved without cutting off toxic relationships. It really can. Eventually, when the time comes, you will be willing to leave those relationships. But given circumstance or situation, sometimes you have to see those relationships through.

It is important to acknowledge the ‘toxic traits’. Question yourself when your confidence becomes a barrier. What makes me feel this way? Who? Acknowledge the cause and effect, and continue to reject that effect.

Going back to my anecdote earlier- I felt that my confidence would be interpreted as arrogance. My second step was to acknowledge what made me feel this way or made this issue apparent. And so, I rejected it. Being able to identify the impact of toxic traits, and when other people are impacting your feelings, leaves you ultimately in control of your own emotions. This should then allow you to build your confidence.

When the time comes, make sure to cut off toxic relationships. Eventually, the time will come.



Lifestyle, Personal

World book day is something I have celebrated every year, partly due to its position in schools but also because I love world book day and celebrating books.

However, this year, World Book Day has been completely different for me- am I growing up?

In honesty, it was only yesterday that I realised today, Thursday 1st March, is world book day. And today, I have been snowed in! The ‘beast of the east’ has resulted in me staying in bed with an endless amount of tea and the opportunity to reminisce some of my favourite world book day memories.

World Book Day was always amazing during primary school. I remember planning my costume weeks in advance, and on the day, walking down the catwalk in the assembly hall and being as ‘extra’ as humanly possible to try and win first place. I’m not as overwhelmingly competitive nowadays, by the way. I love the humour in primary school World Book Days, the effort and creativity put into costumes from parents always makes me feel happy. My mother hunting the house for a black wig so that my youngest brother could be Harry Potter for the day is memory I’m particularly fond of, the effort was worth it as he went on to place first in his own catwalk.

My favourite World Book Day memory happened in either year 10 or year 11. For humorous purposes, I’m going to say it was Year 11 because it’s funnier that way. It was definitely at a time where I personally felt very aware of peer’s opinions which just ruins World Book Day, doesn’t it really?

I was in a sociology lesson, and for the day I effortlessly put together an outfit in replica of Susanna Kaysen from ‘Girl Interrupted’. Black jeans with a pin stripe shirt – imaginative. Clearly I was making the most of the day so that I could wear non-uniform, I thought I was so cool. Funnily enough, a friend had arrived in a similar outfit claiming to be Susanna too! Anyway, my favourite thing about this memory is the peer who stood out from everyone else, and today is my best friend. Maddie turned up, strides into the lesson as Winnie the Pooh. I remember thinking, what the hell– but that just reflects my own insecurity doesn’t it. She looked amazing. Head to toe in a Winnie the Pooh onesie, and I don’t think she actually cared about what everyone else was thinking. That’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Celebrating books and enjoying yourself. That’s what I make sure to do now.

This year is a little different for other reasons too. ‘Grace’ exists! I’ve actually got a book, a poetry collection, I’m published! You can go over to Fishbowl’s website to have a look, and perhaps eye up a collection to read yourself. Below is a photo of Seb recreating the cover of ‘Grace’ in honour of World Book Day.

Snow or no snow, I hope you all enjoyed your world book day celebrations too. I can’t wait for national poetry day.


Personal, poetry

I am so excited to be writing this blog post, or little update if you like. For those who know me, or follow me on any other form of social media, (I half apologise for the consistent posts) but also you will be well aware of the topic in this post. I use my blog to document things, so welcome to this post about my debut collection, ‘Grace’.

I am seventeen years old, and live in a tiny and renowned gloomy town in the West Midlands. I won’t lie, I am really really proud of myself. I don’t have a degree in creative writing (yet), ‘Grace’ is simply a collection of true emotions and experience.

Obviously, I haven’t done this all by myself. Fishbowl Publishing have taken me on, and have supported me massively through the process of publishing. From editing in Bills over a banoffee milkshake with Emily, to seeing Grace for the first time in Lichfield when Phil gave me my first copy, I am so grateful for both of them and feel endlessly supported. Similarly, I struggled massively for a book cover and found and worked with artist Avery Thomas, who is an incredibly talented human being.

I’m not going to write too much in this post as I’d like to make more of a series out of the process of Grace. I know the world of publishing is quite a mystery, especially to young writers, so I’d like to open that discussion in more depth.

However, I have however made a video about ‘Grace’ which I hope you will enjoy watching..

I am also going to link to Amazon where you can order ‘Grace’ (if you fancy)-

To finish this little update, I would like to say thank you. The first place I started documenting my poetry was right here, on this blog. This blog is coming with me through everything, and although I’ve got a little following in comparison, it means so much to me when people take the time to like or even share a post. Thank you for being a part of this.

You can view Foshbowl’s website here – Fishbowl Publishing.

An Introduction : Millie Gould


I am so excited to start my project of ‘An Introduction’ featuring the beautiful young poet, Millie Gould.

I met Millie at Nino’s in September 2017, after her performance I basically ran over to praise her confident and powerful performance (and make up!) and was ultimately pleased to have found her. Isn’t social media amazing? After the evening ended, Millie found me on Instagram and we chatted for a long time about all things; school, poetry, music and politics.

Undoubtedly, Millie absolutely inspired this project. I remember thinking to myself, I have to blog about this girl, everybody has to know about her.

So, here is an introduction to the endlessly fabulous Millie Gould.

When did you start writing poetry, and what inspired you to start writing?

I first started writing poetry properly when I was around eleven or twelve. At the time, I was going through some difficulties and I wasn’t used to having so many different intense emotions, Poetry was the only way to cope. It was cathartic to release everything in such a personal way and ever since it has been my main coping mechanism.

Favourite poet or poem?

Even though I am a poet, I don’t read that much poetry. Although, I do enjoy ‘Milk and Honey’ by Rupi Kaur. Recently, I joined a poetry group and discovered so many poets that are astoundingly talented, such as Frost, Keats and Owen. I adore reading song lyrics as if they were poetry, or listening to spoken word poets.

What would you say to young people that are interested in beginning to write?

My advice to budding young poets or writers would be to experiment as much as you can. Try writing without intention as an exercise, sometimes if you write freely yet solidly for a good ten minutes you’ll find a glorious metaphor or inspiration for a new poem! What I’ve found is that you’ll probably end up looking back on poems from years or even months ago and hating them, but it’s just part of growing up and finding your styles of writing.

There will be periods of time where you’re stuck in a rut and can’t write anything decent, but if you give yourself time and give your inner writer sensory fulfilment, experience new things, look at other creators… soon enough you’ll be back on the road!

Even now, reading back this little Q&A, I find myself in absolute awe of Millie. She’s definitely got an old golden soul, sometimes I find it hard to believe Millie is only fifteen. I look up to Millie a lot. One of the first things I noticed about Millie’s poetry was the prominence of her political awareness, and how efficiently her work combats the view that young people are ignorant to current affairs.

Thank you Millie for essentially being my guinea pig for the beginning of ‘An Introduction’. You’re an absolute voice for the future, and I can’t wait to see where your poetry takes you.

I highly recommend that you visit Millie’s blog, and check out her work and engaging posts.

Poetry Alight – My first headline spot – 13/02/18


It was about a year ago when I had the pleasure of meeting Gary Longden for the first time. I was still new to the poetry scene, and stumbled up nervously to the mic in the home of Nino’s and performed ‘by your side’. After I performed, Gary came over to introduce himself and mentioned his own poetry evening, Poetry Alight, over in Lichfield.

A few months passed and Scarlett invited me to join her, to go and check out Poetry Alight in November. By this time, I was Staffs Young Poet Laureate and was pleased to see Emily and Phil near the bar. The structure of the evening was very new to me, as it showcased two headline slots whilst gleefully giving the opportunity to open mic performers. At the end of the evening, Gary invited both me and Emily to fill the February headline spot.

February has been a very busy month for me; I’ve had my university interview, featured on the Brum Radio show, and am still happily working my way through the Young people’s submissions for the No Planet B festival. And so, my slot at Poetry Alight seemed to suddenly appear out of no where. I became significantly nervous during the day; I have only ever filled open mic slots, what if I can’t fill the entire fifteen minutes? what if I mess up? what if I say something wrong? From what I have learnt from seeing other headliners, it’s a handy tactic to fill time with lengthy introductions to pieces, so I started sketching out ideas of introductions. Before I knew it, I was in the car with my father and Seb, on the way to Lichfield.

The venue for Poetry Alight is at George IV Lichfield, which is a really rustic and homely venue, despite the back room being absolutely freezing! I felt instantly calmer after meeting up with Emily and Phil, where we discussed all things from my collection to Harry Potter and Emily’s deviant cat. I was set to perform after the first half, before the interval. Which meant I had the chance and pleasure to really enjoy the open mic of Lichfield. I was fully engaged with each and every poet, so I didn’t even brush aside to make brief blog notes on my iPad. Although, the atmosphere of respect and support was very calming which is always comforting to see at any poetry evening.

A Staffordshire Poet Laureate double

Before I knew it, Gary was introducing me to perform. Gary mentioned when he had previously met the likes of Kate Tempest, Holly McNish and then myself which is a lovely compliment to receive. For the first time, I was accompanied by my first collection ‘Grace’ which will be available to buy soon. This was a whole new wave of confidence in itself, I wasn’t trying to decipher my handwriting, or accidentally reading out the wrong draft of a poem. It was all there for me. I also found that the ‘daunting’ fifteen minute time slot was not so daunting at all. It was somewhat easier than open mic slots! As my performance really set into place, I really found myself to be comfortable in the space. I wasn’t hiding myself behind my collection nor neglecting the audience, I felt I was directing everything fluently. The lengthy introductions which I had sketched before hand were forgotten about, and I spoke naturally about my work. Really, I enjoyed it a lot.

When my slot ended, I was really grateful to be praised for my set. Wondering where the hell that had came from, it really was my best performance yet.

After the interval, Phil Knight was welcomed to speak about Fishbowl publishing, which you can also check out at There is currently a call for submissions for the St Giles collection, which you can see over on the website or their Facebook page and should definitely get involved in.

I do just want to praise Phil as well in this post, not only have he and Emily been endlessly supportive of me, but my god, isn’t he bloody good? There was a line in one of Phil’s poems which just hit me, and I find myself still thinking about – “I fear I lost my daughters on the day I was born male”. You can read some more of Phil’s work on his Facebook page, @phillipknightpoetry.

The double poet laureate special came around when Emily was introduced to perform. I will never tire of hearing Emily’s work, she really is an inspiration to me. Emily appeared to be the master of headline spots in her set, soothing and engaging, whilst absolutely owning the room. I almost wanted to congratulate Emily for just being so incredibly angelic.

After Emily’s set it was the end of what had been a really lovely evening. Whilst also being an evening in which I had learnt a lot, having my first experience of a headline spot. Thank you again to Poetry Alight, and Gary for inviting me over. I am forever grateful.

Cruelty free make up and skin care


According to Cruelty Free International, over 115 million animals are being used for animal testing worldwide. This is a horrifying figure and is clearly still a concerning issue in 2018.

By assuring the companies you support are cruelty free, you are in theory voting with your money. Money is the only language convenient for almost boycotting an outdated and inhumane policy, still used cosmetically. And, by only purchasing from cruelty free brands, it puts pressure on other companies that still exploit animals to adapt their policies and bring about change.  I also passionately believe in only supporting brands that support you, if you morally believe animal testing is wrong then there is no reason as to why you should not at least be cruelty free.

With that it mind, I want to give you an insight to my cruelty free make up and skin care, and definitely combat the myth that cruelty free products are high-end and expensive.

Skin care

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All products from LUSH

I finally have a skin care routine which I am committed to and enjoy. Lush is the perfect place for cruelty free products, and also have a cosmetics section which is totally cruelty free. The Mask of Magnaminty really is my favourite product from LUSH. I use it twice a day, once in the morning and again in the evening. It is specified for spot-prone skin and works miracles, my skin is the clearest it has ever been. If you have sensitive skin, I would suggest speaking to a member of staff in your store before purchasing, as the mask is very strong. The large pots price at around £13, which although may appear pricey, I have to admit they last for about two months before you need to consider purchasing a new tub. LUSH also sell masks for different skin types and problems, I previously used the ‘cup o coffee’ mask to focus on shadows under my eyes and to help wake my skin up for my day ahead.

I also use the ‘EAU ROMA WATER’ from LUSH, which is Rose water and acts as a toner. My whole skin care routine was actually recommended by a member of staff for the issues i expressed regarding my skin. The Rose Water prices at around £8 for the smaller bottle.


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Unlike skin care, make-up seems harder to condense into being totally cruelty-free. I have done a lot of research into what brands to avoid, and was left really shocked by how many brands were cruelty-free but have gone back into it due to the China Market. Similarly, a lot of brands seem to blur their animal testing policy by donating to leading causes but not being explicit about their own policy. I actually found a very helpful list of which brands are cruelty free, which I will link here.

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The Body Shop brushes – 100% cruelty free and Vegan

I have only ever heard good things regarding The Body Shop brushes. As I said above, The Body Shop are 100% cruelty free and also encourage to enrich rather than exploit, and have a petition over on their website regarding the fight against animal-testing. Thankfully, I picked up my four brushes in the sale, reduced from £30 to £20. This is I suppose quite pricey for make-brushes, but it is justified by the quality of them. Similar cruelty free brushes can be found within brands such as Inika and Kat Von D. But they are becoming more popular, so as long as you research into your preferred brand of brushes, you may find some which are cheaper whilst also being cruelty free.


I found this palette on Nasty Gal for £10. Nasty Gal also support vegan clothing and sell a lot in that department. I was really pleased with the palette, the shadow is really soft and light, but could also be built up to create a more defined and dramatic look. This specific palette also has mainly natural shades, which is perfect for any everyday or casual look.

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e.l.f foundation in ‘natural’ previously ‘porcelain’ and the hydrating face primer

e.l.f cosmetics is the perfect example of a cheap, cruelty-free brand. The foundation I used before I started using this one priced at around £11, whereas this was only around the £7 mark. The shade also is a perfect match for my skin colour, and it feels really nice and smooth. Similarly, the hydrating face primer was around £7 and just makes all the difference to my make-up routine.

I also use the MUA setting spray to set all my make-up, and Anastasia Beverly Hills dipbrow promade for my eyebrows which are both cruelty-free products.


Next time you are out shopping for make-up or skin care products maybe consider whether or not the brand are cruelty free. By investing in brands which are not cruelty free, you are encouraging them to continue with their procedure of exploiting and abusing animals. Of course, there is no pressure in condensing your routines into being cruelty free. It is important to take one step at a time to guarantee success yourself. I’m not suggesting you look at what you have now and get rid of the products which are not cruelty free, but perhaps look into the consequences of such policies, and consider the ‘behind the scenes’ of products which you may use daily.




As January miserably continues, the time has arrived to publish December Books, following December’s similar post which you can read here.

December was a good month for me in terms of reading hugely for pleasure and comfort, whilst being gifted with many more new books and collections to read over Christmas. And so, I am excited to be posting this list.

Submarine – Joe Dunthorne 

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I was recently asked if I had any book recommendations for students who were only slightly younger than me. For some reason I could not think of anything, genuinely because I find teen fiction really difficult to invest myself in and so could not recommend something suitable. However, Dunthorne has created a beautiful and touching coming of age story in Submarine. Time Out describe Submarine as ‘a richly amusing tale of mock GCSEs, sex, death and challenging vocabulary’ in which I totally agree. The novel is entirely accessible to the reader and also nicely relatable when considering realism of a text. I really enjoyed reading it. I first read the novel when I was fourteen, but have gone back to it with a more mature perspective and have still found myself enjoying it. The novel is also an acclaimed film by Richard Ayoade, which is simply stunning and captivating whilst holding a preservative soundtrack by Alex Turner.


Book of longing – Leonard Cohen

Again on my blog, I find myself fully supporting the blur between poets and songwriters. Cohen made his name as a poet before he became known as a singer and songwriter; the author of ten collections of poetry and two novels, and was awarded the Prince of Asturias Award for literature in 2011. I am a huge fan of Cohen’s music, and have found so much beauty in his songs such as ‘Chelsea Hotel NO.2‘. Receiving the ‘book of longing’ for Christmas was an exciting surprise, I am yet to finish it, as it is a lengthy collection but it is nonetheless effortlessly stunning. A personal favourite is ‘Your Heart’. I would definitely recommend this collection.

the sun and her flowers – Rupi Kaur

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Kaur is yet to make a major appearance on my blog, and I hope to do a post dedicated to her work soon, as I feel I have a minority opinion towards her collections. I also received ‘the sun and her flowers’ for Christmas, this is definitely a developed collection when comparing to her debut ‘Milk and Honey’. But I feel it is the ideal collection for somebody who wants to ease into reading poetry, Kaur uses some really beautiful metaphors and her work is simply accessible.

The God Argument – A.C. Grayling 

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The case against Religion and for Humanism. I am surprised that I am yet to mention this book on my blog, and feel I may also have to dedicate a whole post towards it as it is one I have read an uncountable amount of times and one that has played a huge part in my life and my perspective. If you’re interested in philosophy and religion, and perhaps the transition into a postmodern secular society, I would definitely recommend this book. Grayling has split the book into two halves; Part 1 against religion, and Part 2 for humanism. Alike to Submarine, I first read this book when I was fourteen, and I must praise that it is very accessible, Grayling does not seem to use perplexed language whilst explaining his arguments, which makes it a really easy and yet fulfilling read.



An Introduction


Following the Christmas holidays, and my first set of A Level mock exams, I found myself procrastinating from blogging. Partly because I couldn’t find the time, but mainly because I did not know what to write about. So, I thought that I would do an introduction about a little project that will be running ‘on trial’ via my blog for a few months.

2017 was a brilliant year for me, and something I aim to do as Staffordshire’s Young Poet Laureate is to create a comfortable circle of young writers. I feel that young writers are often brushed aside, assuming that their work is fuelled by teen angst and undeveloped tumblr-like metaphors. However, being a young writer and being able to meet others just like me, I feel has completely disproved this view or assumption.

So, I thought that I would use my blog space to share some incredible and inspiring young writers that I have had the pleasure to meet and chat to.

A few months ago, I posted this note around social media- if you’re interested in being featured please feel free to get in touch.

young writers

I am really excited to share with you some really inspiring and fantastic young writers.


Lifestyle, Personal, poetry

I really have had a fantastic year. I am so thankful for everything that has fell into place this year, and those who have been by my side throughout.


As I said, I really have had a fantastic year.  So putting this year into perspective makes me feel immensely happy.

I Love Staffordshire Poetry competition-

The Staffordshire Poetry competition really was the beginning of everything that followed. I remember searching and searching the internet for something to take part in just so that I could write about it on my personal statement. I wrote ‘The Stag and I‘ within ten minutes, so when I found the email announcing that I had won, I was shocked and so surprised to say the least. I owe so much to this competition, it provoked such a great extent of confidence in me, to at least share my work here on my blog. I am immensely grateful.

Finding Speaking Out Midlands-

Speaking Out Midlands, set in the comfort of Café Del Nino’s really has become like home to me. Nino’s has introduced me to so many talented and gorgeous people, people who I love dearly and am totally in awe with. My first visit to Nino’s was back in April, it was the first place I read aloud, and the first time I saw what living poetry was. The technique and confidence which I have taken from performing here once a month has worked in my favour ever so regularly, again I am so lucky and so grateful to be a part of this.

Becoming Staffordshire Young Poet Laureate 2017/2018-

As I mentioned in a previous post, I never thought myself capable of becoming YPL. Being shortlisted for the position was a huge achievement in itself, and so going through the process and actually becoming YPL was entirely overwhelming. I cried from the moment I had to leave the venue, until I sat at home with a cup of tea. I never saw myself achieving so much, having done so little prior to 2017. Becoming YPL also introduced me to Emily Galvin, I love working with Emily, she is an amazing and inspiring friend as well as a perfect mentor. I am so happy and so thankful to find myself in this position, I never want it to end.


Stoke Slam is also a favourite highlight for me. It was my first time performing as a guest poet, and the first time I witnessed a Slam. I think what made this event so amazing for me, was the venue and the people surrounding me. Had I been able to attend a year earlier, the only person I would have known in that roundhouse theatre would have been my father. And yet, I knew most of the people there, and if I didn’t then I surely spoke and made friends with them. The venue was somewhat overwhelming, I had never performed anywhere like it. It was a truly stunning evening.

Finding the good in the bad-


I aim to be as open as possible about my sexual assault, in hope that doing so may encourage others to approach the topic with less of a taboo attitude. On the run up to my AS exams, I was sexually assaulted for the second time at a gig. It truly broke my heart. Yet, I decided to write to repair myself, and also revise and find the victory I felt had been taken from me. I was reimbursed with hope, by looking around at who was by my side, and finding strength in friends and family. I celebrated my AS Results day at Morecambe Beach after achieving AAC despite all that happened. As an individual, I have never felt stronger and more grateful for everybody around me, I really am surrounded by angels.



Obviously. I owe my life to this man, a little to literally. I still can’t believe me and Seb were able to see him live. To many many more I hope.


This year especially, I find myself surrounded by people who I absolutely love and adore. This year the amount of support I have felt and have given and have around, is due to my friends. Together we are such a band of stability, support and strength that I find myself just smothered in happiness looking back at some of the memories we have made together this year. Thank you all, I love you.

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Thank you so much for every single thing you do for me.


I am so excited for the next year. I have some goals and things I want to achieve which I thought may be nice to share, so I can look back on this post next year and probably laugh.

  • The first and main goal is University. Having applied and received 5/5 offers, its safe to say I am going! Moving away and being independent entirely, is going to be my biggest challenge yet. But, I cannot wait.
  • Writing, writing and writing some more – I have been working on my poetry a lot, I have some exciting things to share on here which now are going to be ran after the new year. I want to continue doing blog sagas, alike to the Poems of Pandora. I have the content and plan for one, which I am so excited about.
  • DETOX- this is more of a personal or individual goal, but I want to manipulate the ‘NEW YEAR NEW ME’ motive to an extent. I want to detox of things which make me feel unworthy. Exercise more, and work to succeed, and focus on those things that really matter.

Needless to say, I am so excited for 2018.


I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, and a happy new year.

Bec x